I fear a lot of things. This is one of my biggest problems in life. I know fear is only natural and everyone fears certain things, only, I fear a lot of stuff and this means that I chicken out of doing stuff.
I am TERRIFIED of dogs. A lot of people love dogs. I wish I could go up to one and play with it, but in the back of my mind a little siren goes off when I am near one and yells 'don't go near that, it will bite your head off!' and so I head the other direction. Some people really don't understand fearing dogs and I get that, but a lot of people fear spiders and I think it's the same kind of thing. A fear is justified, no matter what it is.
Whenever I used to go round other people's houses, I was always that annoying person who asked you to lock the dog away. I hated having to ask this, but I would not have gone in the house otherwise. Only yesterday, my Grandad (who plays the guitar and harmonica in his band) was performing at a charity event at a Vet's and I wanted to go and show my support, but obviously there was going to be a thousand dogs there and hence, I stayed at home. I was with my friend once in a park and a tiny dog playfully chased me around, but of course, I thought he was about to devour me and eat me for his dinner. My friend couldn't stop laughing. It was probably hilarious, but to me that was like a near death experience (honestly!). It is embarrassing and also irritating.
I don't know how to get over it. When you get older, the fear is supposed to subside, but it hasn't. My Mum recommended taking me to cognitive behavioral therapy to change the way I perceived dogs, but I never went. My fear of dogs is something I can live with. I never used to be afraid of dogs when I was younger. So I guess it's something that I've pinned in my mind at some point growing up. I don't think anything triggered it - I've never been bitten or anything. I really don't know how to deal with this, other than ignore it and get on with it when it happens.
There are other things I fear. I do get social anxiety, so going to parties (which is a rarity), job interviews, presentations, and other out of the ordinary events can get to me and make me feel like I want to be swallowed up by a vortex and die. I don't know if it's just me but when I get nervous or anxious, I gut this little fuzzy feeling (and not a good one) in my body, like I'm being tickled by feathers, and shiver a lot, my heart racing simultaneously. I think the fear of embarrassing myself is another. I know it shouldn't be, but it is a horrible feeling when you mess up and everyone is staring at you!
There are also silly fears I have. I hate flames and whenever my Mum is making dinner, I don't get anywhere close to the stove. My Mum says that if you fear fire, its probably because you were burned to death in a past life, but I'm not too sure about that. I don't like water parks where there are lots of other people around because I hate the thought of being held under water for a long time (this probably stems from when I once went around a neighbours house and I was in their pool and someone trapped me under a lilo and I couldn't swim up for ages - well, not that long, but the thought of being trapped there was what frightened me). I fear tight spaces. I fear getting a job. I fear exams. I fear not achieving anything in life. I fear public speaking. I fear what people think of me.
I thought I'd write this post because 'fear' bugs me and is something that I've tried to work out and conquer, but nothing seems to change the way you feel. Fear can be a good thing in certain situations and you can thrive on it. But sometimes my fear gets too much for me and I don't do stuff in life because of it and life is too short I guess to fear it.
Below are a few things I do to help control my fear:
1. Shake hands with fear.
I read somewhere today that you should do something everyday that scares you. If you stay in your comfort zone, you'll never live life to the full. If you know that good will come of something, no matter how frightened you are, you have to seize the opportunity and most of the time, things are never as bad as you think (a lot of the time I feel stupid for having even been afraid). Tell fear that it has nothing on you!
2. Pretend that you aren't afraid.
The old saying 'putting on a brave face' comes into my mind here and is pretty spot on. If I imagine that I'm like everyone else and that I'm not afraid of dogs and I'm not the most awkward person in the world, it sometimes makes me feel more at ease (I really don't know if this is good advice but it helps me).
3. Don't tell yourself you're afraid.
I was SO nervous for a job interview that I thought I just wasn't going to go. But I was like, no Lauren, you're going! I told myself that I wasn't afraid because once you feel you are, you believe you are. I know being nervous can bring the best out of you sometimes, but this is rarely the case for me and my nervousness verges on complete uncontrollable fear. Whenever I get stupidly fearful of something I tend to act like I can beat it, like I'm invincible and no one has the right to make fun of me or look down on me.
4. Find a distraction.
For some people this may be sleeping (if you can get to sleep) for others it may be reading a book, going to the gym or watching TV. I find I watch a lot of YouTube when I am anxious or upset and looking for a place to escape. This doesn't mean that the fear will disappear, but if you are constantly fearful, it is a good distraction.
5. BREATHE.
I think this is better advice. If you become fearful and anxious, just take a step back and breathe. We all have to do things we don't want to do, but don't force yourself into something. Relax and go as far as you can.
There is lots of advice online about dealing with fear and I've read a lot about how you should face the fear. But this is hard for a lot of people, including myself, to do. I like tackling things slowly and gradually putting some of my fears at bay, although I'm still learning how to do this. I hope this post may be even the slightest bit helpful to anyone, although it is mainly to rant about how crazy fearful I am as a person and how I haven't yet come to grips with dealing with it.
Below are a few things I do to help control my fear:
1. Shake hands with fear.
I read somewhere today that you should do something everyday that scares you. If you stay in your comfort zone, you'll never live life to the full. If you know that good will come of something, no matter how frightened you are, you have to seize the opportunity and most of the time, things are never as bad as you think (a lot of the time I feel stupid for having even been afraid). Tell fear that it has nothing on you!
2. Pretend that you aren't afraid.
The old saying 'putting on a brave face' comes into my mind here and is pretty spot on. If I imagine that I'm like everyone else and that I'm not afraid of dogs and I'm not the most awkward person in the world, it sometimes makes me feel more at ease (I really don't know if this is good advice but it helps me).
3. Don't tell yourself you're afraid.
I was SO nervous for a job interview that I thought I just wasn't going to go. But I was like, no Lauren, you're going! I told myself that I wasn't afraid because once you feel you are, you believe you are. I know being nervous can bring the best out of you sometimes, but this is rarely the case for me and my nervousness verges on complete uncontrollable fear. Whenever I get stupidly fearful of something I tend to act like I can beat it, like I'm invincible and no one has the right to make fun of me or look down on me.
4. Find a distraction.
For some people this may be sleeping (if you can get to sleep) for others it may be reading a book, going to the gym or watching TV. I find I watch a lot of YouTube when I am anxious or upset and looking for a place to escape. This doesn't mean that the fear will disappear, but if you are constantly fearful, it is a good distraction.
5. BREATHE.
I think this is better advice. If you become fearful and anxious, just take a step back and breathe. We all have to do things we don't want to do, but don't force yourself into something. Relax and go as far as you can.
There is lots of advice online about dealing with fear and I've read a lot about how you should face the fear. But this is hard for a lot of people, including myself, to do. I like tackling things slowly and gradually putting some of my fears at bay, although I'm still learning how to do this. I hope this post may be even the slightest bit helpful to anyone, although it is mainly to rant about how crazy fearful I am as a person and how I haven't yet come to grips with dealing with it.
Any better advice on how to deal with fear?
Remember: Fear isn't always a bad thing.
Remember: Fear isn't always a bad thing.
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