Small steps. Setting goals.

I am sitting in the garden, with an empty plate and glass from my dinner poised on the table and one of the biggest books I have ever seen eying me. The day is starting to ease off and every so often there is a chill that makes me hug my bare arms. This is my favourite place to be, I think. I always remember hating being outside as a child. The wasps would ring in my ears, the sun sting my eyes, my nose running because of the pollen-polluted gardens. But now, none of that seems to bother me. I just enjoy how peaceful it is.

I am staring at the endless pages that the book holds and thinking to myself: how has Donna Tartt managed to write this much? 771 pages! It is amazing how dedicated someone must be to their story that they can keep on writing and writing. I wouldn't usually read something this long - not because I feel I'd get bored - but because of the commitment you have, for however long it takes for you to read it, to spend in that world when you could have gone to many other worlds in that time.

'The Goldfinch' (2013) is the novel that I am referring to. I don't know why I was drawn to reading this book. Maybe the title? Maybe the cover? Most probably the fact that it is a bildungsroman style novel. I've wrote before about my love for these novels - 'The Catcher in the Rye', 'The Kite Runner', 'Jane Eyre', 'Spies'. I enjoy seeing characters grow I think. You can really relate to all of the characters in these novels, where other genres of novels fail at this sometimes.

From the blurb it says that the novel is about a boy, Theo Decker, the son of a devoted mother and absent father. His life is torn apart by an accident in a museum (the part I have got to - this is only 30 pages in!), killing his mother. Theo is taken in by a wealthy family friend and the only reminder of his mother is a small, captivating painting of a goldfinch. Growing up, Theo is drawn into the criminal underworld, alienated and in love. I have a hunch that this is going to be a very consuming novel which is important considering its length.

 

While I started to crack on with the book, my mind trailed off to how I need to become more dedicated. I mean, I've always thought of myself as a self-motivated person. Even at school, I would make sure I got all my work in on time and I spent hours of my free-time teaching myself languages and learning new things. (I've never had much of a social life.) But, reading this, I feel I need to become even more motivated.

I was reading a blog post earlier this week. Someone set a goal to plan their novel in a week. I thought, that doesn't sound too difficult. I could do that. Only, I know I'm going to find excuses not to do it. This isn't because I don't want to start my story, as in fact, that's the part I want to get to. I hate the planning stage. I want to dive straight into it, but I know it's not going to be as good then. The characters are going to be flat strangers and the plot will seem disjointed. When I used to do essays, I'd go straight into it with a vague idea of what was going to happen in each paragraph. Old habits, I suppose.

But now, on my calendar, I have deadlines. This is not for everyone. It is certainly not for me. It's just, I'm pretty sure it's the only way I am ever going to get anything finished. By next Monday, I am hoping to have the plan of my novel finished. Then I will start my first few paragraphs when I am in Portugal next week (yay!) Well, that is the plan anyway. I am praying that this will help me get started with the novel I've had lodged in my head for months.

It is different planning a short story - it doesn't have to be as thorough which is why I find them easier to write. With a novel, the characters have to be real, your best friends. They need deadlines. Hmm. 'Deadlines' does sound quite official and intimidating. Dead-lines. I will call them goals instead. These goals don't have to be anything too daunting. Just goals that mean progress.

It is my ideal goal to write a novel by the end of the year and sitting here, gawping at Donna Tartt's brick of a book, makes me want to get on with it!

Do you have any goals related to writing or otherwise? Feel free to comment if so.